Galapagos Tortoise (Chelonoidis nigra)

Origin: Galapagos Islands, Pacific Ocean
Sighted at: Austin Zoo and Animal Sanctuary, Austin, TX

Tortoises can get very old – a couple hundred years, if they’re lucky! But if you ask a tour guide how old a particular tortoise is, then you probably deserve whatever smart-ass answer they decide to give you. Nobody knows how old a given turtle is, knucklehead. It’s all made up. There’s not even any such thing as turtles, so far as I know.